[He won't correct her, because they both know it isn't fine. But he gets what she means. It's not fine, but it has to be, because what's the other option? She can't magic herself over things like this.
He lets her get up to Pace, and settles back against Noishe, just letting her start to get that pent up energy out.]
...Well, yeah, kids usually don't get things right. It's part of being a kid. [Not to dismiss her, but also-- who would expect a kid to be a master theif? They can't pay attention worth a damn, they can't modulate their feelings, they're still working at dexterity and judgment. Hell even he can't do half those things, and he's well into his teens.]
But I get what you mean. Kind of... taking the things that hurt you and making it a point of pride so it doesn't hurt you anymore. Or like the kind of people who make everything a joke so no one thinks seriously about anything around them. [He's 100% thinking of Zelos on that one.] And that sort of thing is really hard to let go of.
When it happened, I was trying to help. Vi punched me the in the face and called me a jinx, and it was a downright spiral into Hearing Voices and Seeing Things Land from there. If I were to get caught up in every mistake, everything I do wrong, I'd be... Worse. All in all, I like who I am, even if I'm... Different. It's basically what you've said, it's a point of pride, I worked really hard into killing Powder-me and becoming Jinx-me, so it wouldn't hurt anymore.
[He's quiet again, considering. It's... not a healthy way of coping she'd picked. Not to him, at least. But he also has to accept that maybe he's an outlier. His friends had told him that a few times-- not everyone was strong enough to accept their mistakes and learn from them. Not everyone was strong enough to change, or to fight.
But Jinx seems to see it differently. After all: she'd just said that the fact that she'd completely let go of her prior self was something she was proud of.]
...I don't think I'd be able to do that. [It's said wryly-- he doesn't really know how he feels about it, but at the same time, Jinx's life isn't his.] I feel like... Everything I've done wrong, all those mistakes... that's what's made me me.
[After a moment, he shrugs, eyes dipping down.] And... I've made some pretty huge mistakes. Usually when trying to help, like you said. In fact, I don't think I could even pick the biggest.... Probably when I refused to listen to Kratos and we destroyed the anchor between our two worlds.
[He's not sure he'll even know what the death toll was on that one.]
You're not wrong. They made me, me, too. Sometimes too literally.
(her back meets the cold wood, and she slides down until she reaches the floor where lloyd stays. her hand is gentle, tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear as she hums, quietly and tranquil for the time being. this is her element, after all, the shame of past mistakes blending with the real.
and then she boops his forehead.)
Can't take it back, dumb dumb. Can only hope they make you stronger, whatever that means to you in particular.
no subject
He lets her get up to Pace, and settles back against Noishe, just letting her start to get that pent up energy out.]
...Well, yeah, kids usually don't get things right. It's part of being a kid. [Not to dismiss her, but also-- who would expect a kid to be a master theif? They can't pay attention worth a damn, they can't modulate their feelings, they're still working at dexterity and judgment. Hell even he can't do half those things, and he's well into his teens.]
But I get what you mean. Kind of... taking the things that hurt you and making it a point of pride so it doesn't hurt you anymore. Or like the kind of people who make everything a joke so no one thinks seriously about anything around them. [He's 100% thinking of Zelos on that one.] And that sort of thing is really hard to let go of.
no subject
(now he knows her name.)
no subject
But Jinx seems to see it differently. After all: she'd just said that the fact that she'd completely let go of her prior self was something she was proud of.]
...I don't think I'd be able to do that. [It's said wryly-- he doesn't really know how he feels about it, but at the same time, Jinx's life isn't his.] I feel like... Everything I've done wrong, all those mistakes... that's what's made me me.
[After a moment, he shrugs, eyes dipping down.] And... I've made some pretty huge mistakes. Usually when trying to help, like you said. In fact, I don't think I could even pick the biggest.... Probably when I refused to listen to Kratos and we destroyed the anchor between our two worlds.
[He's not sure he'll even know what the death toll was on that one.]
no subject
(her back meets the cold wood, and she slides down until she reaches the floor where lloyd stays. her hand is gentle, tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear as she hums, quietly and tranquil for the time being. this is her element, after all, the shame of past mistakes blending with the real.
and then she boops his forehead.)
Can't take it back, dumb dumb. Can only hope they make you stronger, whatever that means to you in particular.